I’m here…

Please note that while I have begun charging for services again, I do so with an enhanced focus on accessibility. More than ever, I am aware of how essential it is that everyone who wants to work with me to co-create their final years and months and days, has the ability to do so. If you haven’t reached out because of ability to pay, I am certain we can work something out that nourishes us both.

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The Weight of Knowing

My grandma came home today. One year, three months, and six days after I sat by her side as she took her last breath, she arrived at my door by courier, packaged in a shoe-sized box neatly and respectfully wrapped in brown kraft-paper. Four hundred sixty-three days since she died under a full moon early…

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The Gift of Gratitude

“Wonderful work, dear lady!” the email from a past client’s family read. “Words cannot describe how grateful we are for the support you have given our family. Never doubt the importance of what you do. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” ***** In my files at home, I keep a folder called “READ THIS”, that I fill…

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A Deathbed Playlist

The other day, I was driving to a friend’s house when a song I have long loved came on the radio, She Used to Be Mine, by Sara Bareilles. There are days when the song moves me to tears on its own, but as I drove, my friend Laura, who died on New Year’s Day, came…

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The Death You Want

“Have you given any thought to how you want your end of life to go?” I gently asked my nearly-94-year-old grandma that question one afternoon as we talked about her younger brother who had died two years earlier. “I don’t want a stranger to find me.” “OK,” I said, wondering the odds of this since she lived…

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Dancing with Death

She questioned the prevailing cancer story and wondered how she could write her own story with cancer from a place of curiosity, kindness, and compassion instead.

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Give the Gift of “I Love You”

This holiday season, I find myself reflecting on the ways we can do end of life better. After a doozy of an autumn that brought mortality to my doorstep, several times, both personally and professionally, I am reminded that even when we know death is imminent, we never have as much time as we think…

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End of Life Doulas Bridge a Gap for the Dying

It might surprise you to hear that a person with life-limiting or terminal illness spends only about 5% of their time with nurses, doctors, specialists, and the full range of hospice services. According to end of life expert Dr. Allan Kellehear, this means that as much as 95% of their time is spent alone, with family…

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Grief and Gratitude

In this time of Thanksgiving, I’m attempting to answer the question, “Can I be grateful for my grief?” in the wake of my beloved grandma’s recent death. She was more of a mother to me than a grandmother. She was nearly ninety-four and had lived what everyone calls “a good long life”. Yes, that’s true.…

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Reminders of Impermanence

“I’m in an ambulance on my way to the hospital,” my husband told me as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. “Wait. You’re what?” was all I could think of to say. It was almost 2:00am as I lay in a single bed in the guest room at my dad’s house in Florida,…

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A Space for Grace to Enter

As originally published for The Convenings on 6/16/18   The stillness of a recent early summer morning found me in the garden. As I tended and planted and otherwise lost myself in creation, I heard rustling behind me and turned to find my dog Ritter belly up, rolling around in my iris garden. “No!” I…

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