death
On Whose Behalf?
Driving into the park this morning, there was a raccoon lying by the side of the dirt road that winds its way to the trailhead. I noted its presence there, assuming, of course, that it was dead. I imagined what it might be like to stop on my way out after our walk and find…
Read MoreI’m here…
Please note that while I have begun charging for services again, I do so with an enhanced focus on accessibility. More than ever, I am aware of how essential it is that everyone who wants to work with me to co-create their final years and months and days, has the ability to do so. If you haven’t reached out because of ability to pay, I am certain we can work something out that nourishes us both.
Read MoreThe Weight of Knowing
My grandma came home today. One year, three months, and six days after I sat by her side as she took her last breath, she arrived at my door by courier, packaged in a shoe-sized box neatly and respectfully wrapped in brown kraft-paper. Four hundred sixty-three days since she died under a full moon early…
Read MoreThe Gift of Gratitude
“Wonderful work, dear lady!” the email from a past client’s family read. “Words cannot describe how grateful we are for the support you have given our family. Never doubt the importance of what you do. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” ***** In my files at home, I keep a folder called “READ THIS”, that I fill…
Read MoreA Deathbed Playlist
The other day, I was driving to a friend’s house when a song I have long loved came on the radio, She Used to Be Mine, by Sara Bareilles. There are days when the song moves me to tears on its own, but as I drove, my friend Laura, who died on New Year’s Day, came…
Read MoreThe Death You Want
“Have you given any thought to how you want your end of life to go?” I gently asked my nearly-94-year-old grandma that question one afternoon as we talked about her younger brother who had died two years earlier. “I don’t want a stranger to find me.” “OK,” I said, wondering the odds of this since she lived…
Read MoreDancing with Death
She questioned the prevailing cancer story and wondered how she could write her own story with cancer from a place of curiosity, kindness, and compassion instead.
Read MoreGive the Gift of “I Love You”
This holiday season, I find myself reflecting on the ways we can do end of life better. After a doozy of an autumn that brought mortality to my doorstep, several times, both personally and professionally, I am reminded that even when we know death is imminent, we never have as much time as we think…
Read MoreEnd of Life Doulas Bridge a Gap for the Dying
It might surprise you to hear that a person with life-limiting or terminal illness spends only about 5% of their time with nurses, doctors, specialists, and the full range of hospice services. According to end of life expert Dr. Allan Kellehear, this means that as much as 95% of their time is spent alone, with family…
Read MoreGrief and Gratitude
In this time of Thanksgiving, I’m attempting to answer the question, “Can I be grateful for my grief?” in the wake of my beloved grandma’s recent death. She was more of a mother to me than a grandmother. She was nearly ninety-four and had lived what everyone calls “a good long life”. Yes, that’s true.…
Read MoreMessage Received
As originally published for The Convenings on 8/17/18 “I heard my mother talking to me yesterday,” a client recently told me. “I was half asleep and I had just been talking about her, so it was probably nothing. I’m sure it was just a dream,” her tone quieted in the telling and her brow…
Read MoreThe Playfulness of the Unknown
As originally published for The Convenings on 7/23/18 The other night, while enjoying dinner with my dad and bonus mom on the deck sweetly nestled in the treetops of the woods behind our house, we chatted about our dogs and the grief of outliving them when our love together runs so deep. As the stories…
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